I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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