did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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