just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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