The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
