I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
