I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
