This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
