I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
