Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
