fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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