oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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