New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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