don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
