Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
