You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
