wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
