Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
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just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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