I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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