Need sex. Gaining weight.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can vaginas get frostbite?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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