did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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