it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize