it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
