Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize