I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
