with your own penis?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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