we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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