I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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