guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
