yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wear drunk well.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
