I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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