And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
