I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
