Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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