i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
