Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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