Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
