Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
