All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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