Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
