Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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