..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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