; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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