So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize