I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
