So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
