i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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