I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
