I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
