Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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