i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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