on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
