It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
