Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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