this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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