I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
