If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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