Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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