My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
