Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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